Adam Kane, the smartest man in the world
by toomuchfandom
Summary: After talking in a chatroom on I got inspired. Some events take place in an AU story by Dark Mirage found on Adam is the smartest man in the world, and with responsibilities


**Writer** Willow

**Title** My name is Adam Kane and I am the smartest man in the world  
  
**Rating** PG  
  
**Type of story** HUMOR  
  
**Canon or Alternative Universe**? A little of both...  
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****Characters** Adam  
  
**Part of a series Y/N** NO 

**Archive **My LJ for now, livejournal user: bk117

Story made for   
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Word Count** 728

**Author's notes**: Written after being inspired in the chatroom on 

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My name is Adam Kane and I am the smartest man in the world

People might feel threatened by this, but my kids love me. Biologically they're not mine, but they are scientifically. I don't know what happened when I helped their parents or my kids, but my mentor Paul Breedlove must have contaminated my research.

I feel a great responsibility towards my kids. I never, ever, lie to them. They see me as a father figure, but they call me Adam. When I introduce ourselves towards other people, I refer to my kids as Mutant X. This, so my kids know who's in charge: ME.

I like treating my kids like 8 year olds, although they're in their 20ies. They get a weekly allowance, because they work for me, but they're getting food and shelter from ME. I designed the cave we live in. A cave with top notch security and computer systems.

I train the smartest kid to become my successor and wallpaper and it works. I had to raise his allowance though because he has become a big computer nerd. His name is Jesse, a molecular who can alter the density of his body, and besides being the smartest of my kids, he's very very loyal towards me, very naïve and sensitive, he's a whiner – he doesn't believe in his capabilities – and he shares my ideals. The perfect son.

I had to raise the girls allowances as well. Not because they're very smart, but because a shop-a-holic partygirl has joined us and she infected the feral. Emma is a mind bending freak of... uh, she's a psionic, a tel-empath. She knows what you feel, and she can put images in your head. She's quite powerful, I'm a bit scared of her and I think she knows.

I had to teach Shalimar to use the litter pan... uh, toilet. Shalimar is a feline feral and likes to leave her mark. She likes to cuddle or hug so her scent is on you. Luckily, Jesse is her victim most of the time. Anyway, Shalimar liked to urinate whenever she needed, where ever she could. Housebreaking her wasn't an easy task.

I am surprised that I didn't have to raise the allowance of the elemental by now. He has an expensive hobby, collection old cars, he might have some money left on his own bank account. Brennan isn't very smart. His brain has the size of an orange – I should know, I check him up every week and I have to blow up the image of his brain. I don't want to hurt Brennan's feelings – and he talks ghetto-like. He thinks he's streetwise.

Most people fall asleep when I talk to them, or give them – seemingly – endless speeches with my extended and complicated vocabulary. My kids don't. They deserve a pat on their head for that! They fell asleep once, during my lecture of using the hot water – we ran out fast – and I cut his allowance for a week. That taught them!

Although I treat my kids like 8 year olds, I respect their privacy. I don't observe them in the shadows, I don't listen in on their conversations, even though they're talking about me, I don't let the girls come to me half naked so I can examine them in the lab, and I don't leave the comrings open when they're clubhopping so I can keep an eye on them and listen what they're saying. No, I would never do that.

I wouldn't hit them either. I have a black belt in martial arts and I know I can win every fight because they would never use their gifts on me. I don't like to fight, I leave the fighting to them.

I made my kids familiar with my arch enemy Mason Eckhart. That man has done a lot of bad things. And now he's putting New Mutants into stasis pods. _New Mutants aren't dangerous Mason, they can easily be treated like 8 year olds, look at my team!_ One day, when I am tired of playing with Mason, I'll let my kids kill him. Or put him into a pod myself. This I swear. My kids do everything for me and they shouldn't be podded

My kids are Mutant X, and I am Adam Kane, scientist and the smartest man in the whole wide world.


End file.
